What's newest hype in masshysterialand today? Chicken flu a.k.a. avian flu a.k.a. H5N1! Yeah, chicken flu is gonna bring down life as we know it, yeah cause when birdflu and normal flu mix you'll get a superflu and there'll be no cure and we'll all die and then the earth will be governed by dolphins and OMFG we're all gonna die!!
AS IF!

I'll tell you who we have to thank for this nice little doomscenario; Ab Osterhaus, this fucking guy leaves no stone unturned to ensure he gets his message of misery, gloom and despair on TV (In Holland anyway). Mister Osterhaus is kind enough to remind us that we're all doomed and that there's no way out of it. Ab is really popular, because when journalists call upon him to spread fear he tosses their salad afterwards. He was knighted by the queen and he's a professor doctor and to top it off, he's also an evil genius.



One of the funny things is the ever laughable remark from media and politicians that a vaccine is being produced. I don't know where they got their brains from, but I think they should ask for their money back; How in the name of holy anus can you produce a vaccine for a disease that doesn't exist yet and is purely theoretical?! They can't, so they just stock up on Tamiflu of which they can never produce enough for everyone, so everybody is gonna die anyway. And worse yet, some governments try to produce enough anti-virals for everyone despite that little setback, which means that three years from now we'll be confronted with a HUGE supply of medicine going rotten in storage. This stock will have cost millions of dingdongs and it will never have been used, nor will it ever be used. The bill will then ofcourse be shoved up the taxpayers' funholes. The only people winning are the pharmaceutical companies (the mob) and the politicians they bribe.

Personally I think avian flu is like a hooker without a vagina, all talk and no action. It'll get hyped and hyped and hyped, right up till the point of being forgotten. Remember SARS? Yeah SARS, the disease that caused enough uproar to put a dozen airlines and even some small Asian countries out of business, but killed less people in a year than aids does in a day. Ooh, we were all gonna die from that life threatening menace. *cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
And do you know who had a major roll in the discovery and research of SARS?
Yeah, you guessed it, Dr. Doom a.k.a. Ab Osterhaus.

But let's see what kind of damage this bird disease has done so far. It has killed some birds (as it has done since the beginning of time) and in the past two years no more than 500 people worldwide, I'm pretty sure that regular influenza is responsible for way more mayhem. The human victims were mostly kids playing in chickenshit, I think the world can do without retards like that anyway.

According to the information I got, the deathtole in the event of a full-blown outbreak is estimated to be around 200 or 300 million people. That's a lot, but we'd still have 5.7 billion people left, we'd grow some new drones in no time at all.

There is always the possibility that everything I said in this post is totally wrong, and maybe we are all gonna die, but who cares? Am I supposed to spend the rest of my miserable fucking life worrying about trivial shit like some overhyped, purely theoretical, not yet existing, bullshit disease? That'll fit nicely in my schedule of worrying about meteors, earthquakes, Ebola, airborne aids, malicious nanobots, women and tsunami's. Fuck that shit! Nobody knows when their time's up, but in my opinion the odds of H5N1 being the catalyst of your demise are slim at best.

Any (wannabe) birdflu experts can click here if they disagree with me.




just some stats